icywaters

all the stars and boulevards

2005-06-11T03:08:01Z

I really love my neighborhood. I have so many good childhood memories, and I'm sad that the group split up when we entered high school. Sure we still played the occasional game of cards or whatever, but it wasn't the same. But... David's open house was much more fun than I thought it would be, mostly thanks to the Hickey family.

Speaking of open houses (and I know I should have posted this earlier) mine is tomorrow from 2-5. Hope to see you there.

I have to go do more cleaning now. Bye!

also

2005-05-31T18:28:19Z

Wow. Only 3 days left. I'm finally ready to be done.

By the way, is anyone interested in going on a camping trip? Just at Afton or somewhere else nearby. I've really been wanting to go camping lately. Let me know if you are.

what a wonderful weekend

2005-05-31T02:08:39Z

I'd forgotten how much I love being outside! The weather up north this weekend was gorgeous, although it got a bit windy yesterday afternoon. I spent a lot of my time rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, but I also got in some canoeing and a long walk. I'm really excited that I'll be able to spend a lot more time up there this summer, especially since the boat will be in next time I'm up there.

Today, I spent lots of time on TOK journals and trying to prepare for the Chinese final that I have on Wednesday. It's my last high school final ever!

There are only four days left. Incredible.

wow

2005-05-28T05:27:39Z

I don't know what got into Maria and me tonight. I just got back from dropping her off, which I wouldn't have done if we'd been drinking. But we did have fun at the concert... Digidata, Thunder in the Valley, Mute Era and Nightvision. but i have how the 7th street entry smells. it's too smoky. otherwise a fun night.

really

2005-05-28T04:24:10Z

we stayed legal

just kidding

2005-05-28T04:23:07Z

jk. that's not me. i wouldn't do that. really.

sleeping to dream

2005-05-25T04:46:07Z

The honors thing tonight was a lot better than I thought it would be. It was really nice to see Mrs. Ronnei again. I wish I'd visited Horace Mann more often! She was such an awesome teacher.

Also, I went crazy listening to clips from an imix a few nights ago, and I'm looking for music by any of the following artists. Does anyone have anything else by these people, or maybe even the songs listed? Could I borrow the cds and listen to them to see if I want to buy them?

artist- song title
The New Amsterdams- The Spoils of the Spoiled
Turin Brakes- Rain City
Dios Malos- You Got Me All Wrong
Nada Surf- If you leave
tom jones- its not unusual
trespassers William- different stars
the fire theft- summertime
minibar- breathe easy
ron sexsmith- maybe this christmas
camera obscura- keep it clean
train- when i look to the sky
elefant- ester
frausdots- soft light
james william hindle- leaving trains
preston school of industry- caught in the rain
the secret machines- road leads where it's led
blind melon- no rain
kings of convience- misled
trent dabbs- the love goes
rachel yamagata- the reason why
mark lanegan- strange religion
flunk- play
aqueduct- hardcore days and softcore nights
journey- open arms
ryan adams & the cardinals- cold roses
the bravery
imogen heap- hide & seek
sufjan stevens- to be alone with you
the reindeer section- cartwheels
matt pond PA- champagne supernova
ryan adams- wonderwall
I-94
the format- interventions and lullabies (album title)
michael lord- what have you got to lose?
the goo goo dolls- iris
ryan cabrera- true
michelle branch- goodbye to you
enrique- addicted
jack johnson- sitting, waiting, wishing
zero 7- destiny, somersault
finley quaye- dice
magnet and gemma hayes- lay lady lay
the corrs- summer sunshine
kylie minogue- can't get you out of my head
dashboard confessional- age six racer
stars- the vanishing
jem- they

As much as I've complained about high school, I'm really going to miss it. I really like how everyone knows who everyone is because of IB, and I like the ridiculous gossip, and I like how easy going people are (although I can't always say the same for myself), and the dances, and I could go on and on... I can't believe there are only six real days left. But they're going to be good days, and I think I'm ready for something new.

I really hope people stay connected over the summer, and make time to do things together before we head off to college. I'm really glad that all of you have been a part of my life.

the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself

2005-05-24T05:04:06Z

I rarely listen to the radio, but I heard this song, by Baz Luhrmann (the director of Moulin Rouge), on KS95 today, and thought you might like it. I'd recommend looking it up and listening to it instead though.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 ('05!)
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

that's why i'm wonderin' why

2005-05-23T04:10:06Z

so i haven't written in here in quite a while. For those of you that don't know, I decided on St. Olaf, and I think I made the right choice. I must give some credit to Laura for our conversation about what one should base such decisions on. Thanks Laura!

I can't believe there are only 9 days of school left! and only 8 real days! I'm really excited, but really sad at the same time. and i can't listen to a lot of the songs on my computer, because so many of them make me cry. it all started after maria and i went looking for senior slide show songs...

oh, mom's yelling at me to sign off, so more later

i meant... no i didn't mean that at all

2005-04-27T18:36:53Z

I hate history tests. I also hate college decisions. I generally hate change, but sometimes I love change. Take college for example- I can't wait for college. A new room, a new place, new people!!

Don't misunderstand me though. I like my friends. I just think I've become alienated from some people and groups.

I'm also frusturated that the movie clip list is gone, or unusable. 14 hours, half a tank of gas, roughly 10 dollars, and 30 min of tape later, we've got nothing but the original. But now we can make it even better, and we wouldn't do that if we hadn't lost the first edited version.

And just fyi...
Did you know that you're not supposed to keep your cell phone in your back pocket because it is more likely to blow up if you keep it there?

Enjoy your days! I'm off to eat and study, study, study.

it's kinda crazy

2005-04-07T04:58:23Z

i don't want to go to any of the schools i was accepted to. i want to make it off one of those 5 waitlists. any one of them. i'm really scared about going to college. i'm not sure that i'll be happy at any of those schools, and there isn't really anything i can do anymore.

i need plans for the rest of spring break. this first part was so busy, and i'm going to be bored for these last few days. but i do need time to study for those ib tests, and figure out this college stuff, so maybe this free time is good.

tell me why prom seems to be all people are talking about!

icywaters @ 2005-03-31T23:01:00

2005-04-01T05:05:41Z

WHAT was I thinking when I applied to all of those selective schools?! I don't even want the rest of the letters. They should all get lost in the mail. I really should have applied to some middle-of-the-road schools far away.

However, I'm very excited for WQ, despite my worries that I'm totally underprepared. The boat ride should be fun, and the White House tour should be really cool.

I hope I make it into at least one of those other schools.

Another Perfect Day

2005-03-30T05:15:31Z

So, I'm going to try and write more often when I'm in a good mood. I just don't understand this college thing! How is it that I got into Carleton, and waitlisted for those three other schools, when others got into those schools and didn't get into Carleton? I think admissions decisions are pretty arbitrary. Oh well. I really don't care right now, though I don't know why.

Today was fairly uneventful. I had to work with the Chinese 6 class, because Ali wasn't there (Get well soon Ali), and it looks like I'll be working with them again tomorrow. That class is a total blast from the past. We did the same practice IB exercise today that my class did last year. I was glad to be back in Swedish, and I wasn't the only one back. I guess a lot of people were gone Friday... And Modern Lit was interesting, probably due to the fact that I actually read a large portion of this book.

I'm totally failing the Worldquest group. Sorry guys! I'll never remember all these names, and I can't get the BBC pictures copied into a powerpoint. That cram session tomorrow will have to be really productive! I don't know though, I don't feel like the group study sessions have helped me very much. I'd rather study on my own. But but but going to the White House will be really awesome. I'm sooo excited! Also, the dance competition should be hilarious!

I think I spent way too long on the TOK project tonight. Oh well. Also spent too much time on CAS, but that's almost done now. What a relief!

Oh, picked up Jason Mraz tix today. That should be a lot of fun. I haven't been to a concert in a while.

11:11 MAKE A WISH- I did!

I really like the Garden State soundtrack- I'd recommend listening to it if you get a chance.
I also like my new Jet cd, and my Death Cab cd.

i'm such an idiot

2005-03-29T00:54:10Z

I don't know why on earth i ever applied to all of those selective schools or thought i'd get into them. stupid stupid stupid stupid me. and being waitlisted doesn't make me super excited either... if i stay on those lists i won't find out until mid may. aarrrggggg

and it isn't really the not being accepted... because during the last couple months i realized that i didn't want to go to most of them anyway, but i'd rather be the one with the power

i wonder what it was. i bet that damn recommendation that i should have had a different teacher write was a part of it and i guess my test scores just weren't high enough, after all, my act could have been 4 points higher, and my class rank isn't high enough, and my essays sucked, and i'm in too many fucking activities with too many leadership roles or something. i know i'm not smart, but i didn't know i was that awful

i wish the easy schools had come after the hard schools, so i'd be in better spirits. but they didn't, so the next couple weeks i'll be faced with too many small envelopes telling me that i've either been waitlisted or rejected. guess it's good that i'm not expecting anything anyway.

maybe i'll just go to the u. i like my swedish class a lot, and i like the people there, and it'd be easy enough to take next year off and try to go to Sweden, and then skip entry level classes with my ib tests and CIS. even with all the money St Olaf offered me, I don't think I want to go there. and I don't want to go to an all girls school, or Carleton, and well morris, yeah, I'm not going there.

i don't even want to hear from the rest of the schools. I'll have other people check the mail and throw away the envelopes. from now on, low low low expectations for myself.

sorry about this entry. sorry i complain about stupid things so much, I know that a lot of us are probably dealing with this to some extent. sorry for the swearing.

money, money, money, must be funny

2005-03-23T04:00:53Z

So I got a call from Philana tonight. Turns out I'm a Regent scholar. I should be excited, right? I mean, $40,000 is a lot of money. More than I'll get from any other school. I don't know though, I was so sure I didn't want to go there, and I feel like I have to go there now.

I guess it's really a win-win situation. I'll either end up somewhere I really want to be, or I'll save tons of money.

But I figured I wouldn't get it... I was just thinking I'd be able to spend these weeks worrying only about where I'll be accepted, and that Olaf would be pretty much out of the picture.

Oh well.

and right now i'm tired... so i'll skip that Swedish essay that I was planning on doing a couple of hours ago

i can't turn and walk away

2005-03-23T01:40:03Z

1 Chinese essay down.
1 Swedish essay to go.

Yay! I got into Carleton! Even though I don't think I really want to go there, it gives me another option, and that's what I wanted- options.

Otherwise today was pretty typical... I had fun listening to the iPod during the first 45 min of Chinese, since Ali was off doing her Spanish oral. Landreau was gone again, but I enjoyed the video. I think we should watch Thirteen Days too... that'd be somewhat educational, and more interesting. Swedish was average. I'm finally starting to get sick of driving to the U every day. It's too expensive and time consuming. After class, I hurried back for WorldQuest, because I didn't know that we weren't practicing until 1. Again, typical. I don't find anything out unless I ask. The headache that is Habitat came back after school, and then I went to an IB geo practice. That, like the class itself, was not very helpful. And don't get me wrong about Habitat- I like leading it, I just don't like it when people have committment issues. After that I went home, went to the car wash, went to MA for Chris, came home, did Chinese, ate dinner, and here I am.

My new cds are supposed to arrive tomorrow! Garden State Soundtrack, Get Born, August and Everything After, You Can Play These Songs with Chords, and How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb

So I know some big envelopes are coming (with my cds), and I bet there are some small ones on their way as well. But that's okay! I'm going to make the best of the next four years no matter where I go.

For now, I have to get to that essay, and then go pack for Steamboat Springs.

take it on the otherside

2005-03-17T02:51:09Z

Bummer, only one Maroon 5 ticket, and I'm not going alone. Oh well.

Maja, I totally understand how you feel. It kinda sucks, doesn't it? I think so.

My group piano lesson was better than, due in part to one of the 2 guys being really nice and funny. And almost as bad as me! The other was kinda weird.

So, only a couple months more. I have to figure out where I want to go to college, pass those IB tests, wrap up this Habitat stuff, and then I get to leave!!! GET AWAY! GO ON A ROAD TRIP, OR GO LIVE AT MY CABIN, OR SOMETHING. From now on, I'm going to try to act and maybe even feel more optimistic. Really.

I sometimes forget how young we are, and expect people to act older than they do. But we aren't really very old at all, and I guess everything is a part of growing up.

i suprise myself sometimes

2005-03-16T18:30:45Z

So I got home today, grabbed the mail, and saw a small envelope from UMN-TC. I figured I'd been rejected, or waitlisted, since I applied so late. Anyway, I opened it, read the first line, and realized that I was really happy to have gotten in there. I wasn't really serious about going there when I applied, and didn't think I'd really care if I got in. I guess I did care, and I don't know if I'll go there, but I'm glad I was accepted! And I could have said all of that in about one sentance. Oh well.

what to write, what to write

2005-03-15T04:49:05Z

I watched way too many episodes of the OC today

ALSO, I can't wait for this weekend! 48 hours without my family!!! Time to RELAX! For real!

On another note, I don't know how long this will continue, since I need other people to tell me to write in it. I guess I'm just not dedicated enough. Though I don't need an lj to tell me that. I've done a pretty bad job of dedicating myself to activities this year... take skiing, for one. I feel really bad about it- I could have pushed myself a lot harder. And school- I'm taking 2 real classes at Highland, and one at the U. I feel way too lazy. And athletics! I'm not even playing a sport this spring, which is really strange for me.

Anyway, I better get going. I've still got some stuff to take care of tonight.

I hate TOK

2005-03-04T03:45:31Z

if I hadn't done all of the other work for the diploma, I would have dropped TOK at the semester break

because you say so

2005-03-03T22:27:10Z

Well, I've been told by a number of people that I should start one of these, so here goes.

Chinese this morning was interesting- Ali and I taught it, and I think I probably know less than the kids in Chinese 6. That isn't to say that I didn't know more at some point, but just that I've forgotten lots of stuff.

History was... history. We didn't do very much, as usual. I studied for a Swedish quiz, which I think went rather well.

SO, with the English oral rapidly advancing, my goal is to re-read at least 2 of the books, and then study all of my oral outlines, journals, and the little book Kozak gave us.

Boring weekend ahead. I'm headed down to St. Olaf tomorrow night, and have Regents scholar interview stuff Saturday morning. I plan to spend the rest of the weekend studying for the english oral.

Since I'm done with my homework, I'm going to go practice piano, and then work on The Bell Jar.